12 posts tagged “music”
i took this weird nap around 6 and woke up at 10. now i'm not tired and i'm going to be up all night. great job to me. i guess i'll just have a hardcore vent sesh. i feel like there's so much i want to pore out, but i don't know how much i'll end up bringing to the table. i feel like there's so much going on and i just don't know what to do sometimes. i'm probably going to spend most of the day tomorrow figuring it out. i'm in such a good mood and a good place, but at the same time, i feel like it's not enough, or like it's empty in a way. i feel like i'm sort of half slacking off, but i am trying. i just don't know what i'm spending my time on. i should really write it down sometime, like, next week. i'm listening to HIM right now and reminiscing about life, a bit. that band got me through some difficult times... but not without leaving scars unfortunately. it was what i enjoyed listening to at the time, but it wasn't the most uplifting music or the best choice. i guess as long as i'm alive it served its purpose, but i would've just forced rogue wave or the decemberists on myself if i could go back to then. then again, i like where i am. that's the thing with wishing you could change something or wanting to change something. i like my life right now and i wouldn't change anything. once you notice you're in a good place, you're alive and you have what you need, the past isn't as important. once you notice that if you were to go back in time and change something, you'd come back and things would be different, maybe you rethink. i always think like this; if i was to go back in time and give myself rogue wave instead of him, yeah, i might not have as many scars. i might have liked it, i might have hated it. whatever works, works. as long as whatever i was listening to was able to give me some sort of therapeutic reasoning, i have no regrets about listening to it. i think my life has a sort of rich history that not everyone has. not everyone has experiences like me. i've traveled, i've nights of terrible depression on the brink of self-destruction and nights where i just want the day to never end because it was so beautiful. i had my tough time and it just makes me that much better of a person. i wouldn't change a thing about my life in the past. i have so much material to save for later ! i have so many things i could make films about. plus, i have great friends, i'm in love, i have decent grades, i'm happy with who i am... it seems like enough to not want to change a thing. i'd be too afraid that something would get taken away. i don't want anything to leave.
i feel myself getting a sort of senioritis. people say when you're a senior you totally slack off in school and they call it senioritis. you're just rushing to get out and don't care how your grades go. i'm sort of feeling it, a bit. i've been half slacking, i suppose. i think i have at least an A or B in every subject. nothing lower. i'm in two clubs i'll have a leadership position in each next year. i run my own business. i read a lot, hence, i'll probably do decent on the SAT (but i do need to study more). i know there are places i'm lacking. no, i don't do sports, but i don't think film schools really mind. over the summer i'm hoping to build up a kickass portfolio. what else can i really do? i know i need to look more into colleges, and now that's it's late at night i'm thinking clearly. i know i'll get some excellent letters of reccomendation from my teachers. what else do i really need? i guess i could put more effort in my clubs. lately i've been slacking. maybe it's just this week i was really distracted with my love interest, hehe. i sort of slightly ditched both clubs, but it wasn't completely necessary to be there anyway. i think i missed some sort of national honor society meeting or something, but i feel like i miss everything lately. just last week i was sort of slacking a bit i suppose. tomorrow i think i'll spend a few hardcore hours on my ap paper and english essay. i want to get everything done tomorrow so i can have fun on sunday at guggenheim and make next week a little less stressful. i know when i wake up tomorrow i'll probably not be thinking this way, but i really want next week to be a bit less stressful than what i'm anticipating it to be. things just don't seem to be calming down the way i want them to. i think i'll be up until around 3AM tonight, just because of that dumbass nap i took in the middle of the day, ugh. i just noticed how i've been pretty much been typing non-stop for the past few minutes, without thinking at all about it. it just comes out so effortlessly. i'm going to write a few more paragraphs. i have things to talk about. don't bother reading on, really. it's just venting.
today we were supposed to be doing this thing for this club, blah. it was some sort of a craft project type thing and i was sort of eh about going. i was sort of preoccupied with the fact that any day i stay after and don't hang out with my love interest [it's so odd that i'm going to be repeatedly using this phrase, but for some reason i always feel awkward using the real name. i'm not sure why. i never like using people's real names when i'm blogging. it's just sort of odd or foreign to me]. i feel sort of like an alcoholic or something, except i'm addicted to our conversations and just him in general. when i stay after and he's not there, it feels empty. it feels incomplete and i feel like i need more. i'm an addict i guess. it's so strange. it sounds sort of like dependency, slightly, and that sort of scares me. but anyway, i was supposed to do this thing for this club, but ended up meeting with said love interest while i was on my way to going there. we just hung out for a solid half hour, hour, with the occasional "'i should probably go do that thing,' 'then go,' 'but i don't want to go,' 'then don't'" exchange of words. haha. unfortunately, i enjoy talking to him so much that i just don't really want to do anything else. it's like, once you've gotten the best thing, you don't want to go back to the suckish thing. ugh, i hate how i sound like a total drug addict. anyway, so we were walking around, and around, and around, everywhere. that's sort of our thing since like, last week. we just walk around together, just us, and talk endlessly about things that don't matter to half the population of the earth. we have so much in common that it doesn't matter. we could talk about string cheese or something, and it would last a while in conversation. i think we have spoken about string cheese before, actually. we can just pretty much talk about anything and have a good conversation. we were just walking and talking and then i ran into a friend of mine, who is in the club that i was ditching. it was sort of incredibly awkward, seeing as this friend and i sort of always had this sort of flirtatious type friendship. it's like that friend you always sort unintentionally flirt with and almost like 800 times but never really do. he seemed extra shaky, a bit uncomfortable and possibly jealous. i'm not sure if it's just me sort of flattering myself or that was what was really up, but it was sort of awkward. it was such an oddly placed dose of reality. i half despised it, i guess. when you have such good chemistry and conversation with someone, you're in a separate world, almost. the reality that i had a sort of obligation was sort of bullshit, haha, but i guess it's what i needed. but we've been spending so much time together that.. i don't know. there's just nowhere else i'd rather be anymore.
i feel myself getting a sort of senioritis. people say when you're a senior you totally slack off in school and they call it senioritis. you're just rushing to get out and don't care how your grades go. i'm sort of feeling it, a bit. i've been half slacking, i suppose. i think i have at least an A or B in every subject. nothing lower. i'm in two clubs i'll have a leadership position in each next year. i run my own business. i read a lot, hence, i'll probably do decent on the SAT (but i do need to study more). i know there are places i'm lacking. no, i don't do sports, but i don't think film schools really mind. over the summer i'm hoping to build up a kickass portfolio. what else can i really do? i know i need to look more into colleges, and now that's it's late at night i'm thinking clearly. i know i'll get some excellent letters of reccomendation from my teachers. what else do i really need? i guess i could put more effort in my clubs. lately i've been slacking. maybe it's just this week i was really distracted with my love interest, hehe. i sort of slightly ditched both clubs, but it wasn't completely necessary to be there anyway. i think i missed some sort of national honor society meeting or something, but i feel like i miss everything lately. just last week i was sort of slacking a bit i suppose. tomorrow i think i'll spend a few hardcore hours on my ap paper and english essay. i want to get everything done tomorrow so i can have fun on sunday at guggenheim and make next week a little less stressful. i know when i wake up tomorrow i'll probably not be thinking this way, but i really want next week to be a bit less stressful than what i'm anticipating it to be. things just don't seem to be calming down the way i want them to. i think i'll be up until around 3AM tonight, just because of that dumbass nap i took in the middle of the day, ugh. i just noticed how i've been pretty much been typing non-stop for the past few minutes, without thinking at all about it. it just comes out so effortlessly. i'm going to write a few more paragraphs. i have things to talk about. don't bother reading on, really. it's just venting.
today we were supposed to be doing this thing for this club, blah. it was some sort of a craft project type thing and i was sort of eh about going. i was sort of preoccupied with the fact that any day i stay after and don't hang out with my love interest [it's so odd that i'm going to be repeatedly using this phrase, but for some reason i always feel awkward using the real name. i'm not sure why. i never like using people's real names when i'm blogging. it's just sort of odd or foreign to me]. i feel sort of like an alcoholic or something, except i'm addicted to our conversations and just him in general. when i stay after and he's not there, it feels empty. it feels incomplete and i feel like i need more. i'm an addict i guess. it's so strange. it sounds sort of like dependency, slightly, and that sort of scares me. but anyway, i was supposed to do this thing for this club, but ended up meeting with said love interest while i was on my way to going there. we just hung out for a solid half hour, hour, with the occasional "'i should probably go do that thing,' 'then go,' 'but i don't want to go,' 'then don't'" exchange of words. haha. unfortunately, i enjoy talking to him so much that i just don't really want to do anything else. it's like, once you've gotten the best thing, you don't want to go back to the suckish thing. ugh, i hate how i sound like a total drug addict. anyway, so we were walking around, and around, and around, everywhere. that's sort of our thing since like, last week. we just walk around together, just us, and talk endlessly about things that don't matter to half the population of the earth. we have so much in common that it doesn't matter. we could talk about string cheese or something, and it would last a while in conversation. i think we have spoken about string cheese before, actually. we can just pretty much talk about anything and have a good conversation. we were just walking and talking and then i ran into a friend of mine, who is in the club that i was ditching. it was sort of incredibly awkward, seeing as this friend and i sort of always had this sort of flirtatious type friendship. it's like that friend you always sort unintentionally flirt with and almost like 800 times but never really do. he seemed extra shaky, a bit uncomfortable and possibly jealous. i'm not sure if it's just me sort of flattering myself or that was what was really up, but it was sort of awkward. it was such an oddly placed dose of reality. i half despised it, i guess. when you have such good chemistry and conversation with someone, you're in a separate world, almost. the reality that i had a sort of obligation was sort of bullshit, haha, but i guess it's what i needed. but we've been spending so much time together that.. i don't know. there's just nowhere else i'd rather be anymore.
i love when people say 'this song makes me feel like home.' it means a lot to me. there have been so many different songs in my life that have truly made a difference for me, whether for their positive or negative messages or tones. i distinctly remember i point in time where i was obsessed with 'freelove' by depeche mode. that was in the era of my obsession with finding someone. i don't need someone right now, as much as i wouldn't mind. i have so much on my mind, so many things to love.. maybe it's best i just don't think about anything else. anyway, so about music, i also remember a distinct point in time in ninth grade, in love with sir mosleh and too afraid to let him know how i felt, even though i told him and later told him i didn't feel that way while i still did. it was during my electronica michael alig phase. and the song of choice after ruining myself was 'chemistry of a car crash' by shiny toy guns. i can't listen to that song anymore, by the way. i don't know why, since i'm completely over it, but i guess it brings back those old feelings and thoughts such as, why did you do that? why did you ruin that? not that there was anything there really. to me there was, but not much i guess. i didn't really notice how he was feeling i guess. but anyway, that was years ago. fuck i'm getting old. anyway, so now, while in the midst of my new book, fabulously entitled 'love is a mixtape: life and loss one song at a time'
[not that i'm looking to lose someone] i noticed how much i neglected preserving my music taste throughout the years in some form. i have the memories, but how long will they last? i have no idea what i'm going to do, but i think i need to start laying out my life. i think i'll need to begin in this month's palaver. events i remember that defined some part of my life, or are just such great memories i have to keep them. speaking of which, i have so much work left to do on the new palaver. i haven't even finished the featured artist section or made the etsy style section. hopefully it'll be out by saturday. i'll make that the due date for myself right now, hehe. and so, to finally wrap this long rambling up, here are the songs that currently, for me, make anywhere feel like home.
-the weight she fell under by the parenthetical girls
-chicago x 12 by rogue wave
-is there a ghost by band of horses
-all i need by radiohead
-reckoner by radiohead
-videotape by radiohead
-glosoli by sigur ros
-the weight she fell under by the parenthetical girls
-chicago x 12 by rogue wave
-is there a ghost by band of horses
-all i need by radiohead
-reckoner by radiohead
-videotape by radiohead
-glosoli by sigur ros
<-- palaver zine 002, $3. listed today in my etsy shop ! yes ! the second issue of my zine is here ! the first issue is also available in my etsy shop. palaver zine is a zine made by me, almost completely by hand. i cut, i paste, i collage, i write, i ask, i read and it all comes together in this zine ! the first issue was a mere 14 pages, but this month, i've grown it into 18 pages ! get the while you can ! they sell rather quickly.
i'm so tired. i haven't written here in a while, so i figured, i need to get back where i was ! hehe. so the past week was, somewhat eventful i suppose. saturday was busy. i had to go to the orthodontist [because i'm a loser who still has braces. -____- i've had them on for five years !] and then after the orthodontist, i went to the metropolitan museum of art, just to kill time, because later i had to go to the bon jovi concert ! the free one in central park for the all star game. it was a true new york city event that no one should've missed... but i guess you can't fit everyone on the great lawn. the concert was a lot of fun, even though i was one of the only ones really dancing. the age range was so wide since it was a free concert and all, so there were little kids, grandparents, parents, you name it ! it was really great though. we got there 6 hours ahead, even though many people had already gotten there. some people waited the night... too bad i had an orthodontist appointment. but i've had an attachment to the bon ever since i was in 3rd grade and heard 'it's my life.' i always take pride in saying i was a super cool 3rd grader who liked bon jovi and the red hot chili peppers, and even got both cds for my birthday ! but then my alternative rock phase ended until 5th grade. i was raised on the backstreet boys, nsync, the spice girls, the works. alternative rock was never really my oldest sister's thing in her teenage years, so i experienced the pop of the 90s rather than the grunge that i discovered once i was in 7th grade. since my tastes have changed so many times, i have such wide music knowledge. i love that. but anyway, bon jovi was really great ! and i went completely insane [not that i don't at every other concert i go to, i'm the obnoxious one in the crowd. music makes me an extrovert, like alcohol for some people].
then my life became uneventful until yesterday when i chilled with two of my good friends. i brought over amelie [the french film] and they seemed to like it. i usually bring weird movies for them to watch, but i tried not to make it too weird this time. i actually thought about it i guess. but i love amelie so much. it's so near and dear to my heart. the story, the visuals, the sound. i just love it so much. it's the type of film where the effort is shown. it's like a pan's labyrinth or lord of the rings of sorts. you can always tell when a filmmaker has tried his [or her] best on a particular film. it's just like, this extra blast of special spice. it's spicy. it's like... paprika or something. i love films like that. you can tell the work was put in and they cared so deeply about the film and its point. moments like that are the best kind.
i'm so tired. i haven't written here in a while, so i figured, i need to get back where i was ! hehe. so the past week was, somewhat eventful i suppose. saturday was busy. i had to go to the orthodontist [because i'm a loser who still has braces. -____- i've had them on for five years !] and then after the orthodontist, i went to the metropolitan museum of art, just to kill time, because later i had to go to the bon jovi concert ! the free one in central park for the all star game. it was a true new york city event that no one should've missed... but i guess you can't fit everyone on the great lawn. the concert was a lot of fun, even though i was one of the only ones really dancing. the age range was so wide since it was a free concert and all, so there were little kids, grandparents, parents, you name it ! it was really great though. we got there 6 hours ahead, even though many people had already gotten there. some people waited the night... too bad i had an orthodontist appointment. but i've had an attachment to the bon ever since i was in 3rd grade and heard 'it's my life.' i always take pride in saying i was a super cool 3rd grader who liked bon jovi and the red hot chili peppers, and even got both cds for my birthday ! but then my alternative rock phase ended until 5th grade. i was raised on the backstreet boys, nsync, the spice girls, the works. alternative rock was never really my oldest sister's thing in her teenage years, so i experienced the pop of the 90s rather than the grunge that i discovered once i was in 7th grade. since my tastes have changed so many times, i have such wide music knowledge. i love that. but anyway, bon jovi was really great ! and i went completely insane [not that i don't at every other concert i go to, i'm the obnoxious one in the crowd. music makes me an extrovert, like alcohol for some people].
then my life became uneventful until yesterday when i chilled with two of my good friends. i brought over amelie [the french film] and they seemed to like it. i usually bring weird movies for them to watch, but i tried not to make it too weird this time. i actually thought about it i guess. but i love amelie so much. it's so near and dear to my heart. the story, the visuals, the sound. i just love it so much. it's the type of film where the effort is shown. it's like a pan's labyrinth or lord of the rings of sorts. you can always tell when a filmmaker has tried his [or her] best on a particular film. it's just like, this extra blast of special spice. it's spicy. it's like... paprika or something. i love films like that. you can tell the work was put in and they cared so deeply about the film and its point. moments like that are the best kind.
<-- landin the linen scented gnome, $4. hopelandic. what does that mean? i don't know, but i guess i'd like to. i love when i'm in those moods where i could write for hours, and write well too. today i should've been walking to the post office, but then other things crossed my mind and came to my attention, so i decided to hand around for a little while. wednesday will be my first hardcore summer day, meaning, i need to wake up for a hardcore run. i either have the run around 6AM-ish, or 7PM-ish, just cos that's when my favorite shade of sky blue is out. i love when i can look at the sky and it's this pale blue feeling gray sort of color. it makes me thing of iceland, and i like it. that place calls to me everyday. every time one of their delightful musicians make their way into my headphones during a walk or during a sit, i just want to be there with them, experiencing what it is that makes iceland so mysteriously serene and beautiful. lately, they've even had problems within, but my want and need of iceland has not died, and hopefully will not. the people of iceland seem to love it as well, or else we'd have a high concentration of icelandic- americans rather than italian or irish, and who has seen that more than one to four times in their lives? me, never. people in iceland dwell there because they're happy there, it seems. whenever i listen to sigur ros, amiina, etc. i don't have to wonder why.
ideas have been popping into my mind all week ever since saturday. now that i'm sure i'm going to be going to the new york film academy [only for a week, but i will cherish it] for the first week of august, i want to make the most of the equipment and opportunity that will be available to me, to make something worthwhile and something as amazing as possible. something that can get me into some film festivals and that i can add to my college resume. but i have noticed a common pattern, that all my stories are of hopeless loves, or loves lost. i don't know why my mind is so magnetic to that topic. perhaps it's because i'm simply a hopeless romantic? but probably more simply, because that's my interest. i always seem to picture audrey tautou as all of my protagonist or supporting female roles ! she's like, all over my mind ! i must say, i think my mind and body yearns for me to purchase amelie as soon as possible ! hahha.
ideas have been popping into my mind all week ever since saturday. now that i'm sure i'm going to be going to the new york film academy [only for a week, but i will cherish it] for the first week of august, i want to make the most of the equipment and opportunity that will be available to me, to make something worthwhile and something as amazing as possible. something that can get me into some film festivals and that i can add to my college resume. but i have noticed a common pattern, that all my stories are of hopeless loves, or loves lost. i don't know why my mind is so magnetic to that topic. perhaps it's because i'm simply a hopeless romantic? but probably more simply, because that's my interest. i always seem to picture audrey tautou as all of my protagonist or supporting female roles ! she's like, all over my mind ! i must say, i think my mind and body yearns for me to purchase amelie as soon as possible ! hahha.
i'm listening to devendra banhart. he's a genius of course, but i felt like i needed him more in my iTunes library. i can't believe how much mates of state i listened to last week ! i checked my lastfm and it was like, all mates of state-y ! the past two days i've been obsessively nonstop watching eternal sunshine precisely at 7PM. it made me think about writing in a journal, like joel, just cos you have the ability to be completely private and forget what you want forgotten. i'm not sure where this blog will go, but i'm not sure if having a written journal is any better, besides the fact i can doodle.
today was my first day working with my ap conference group in a few months. they showed me the powerpoint they made, and to be honest, i was unhappy with it. when i stayed after school today all i did was tediously work on that slideshow. it bothered me. i don't want it to make the wrong impression, but at the same time, i felt like an ass. i drove one partner out by just attacking her for plagiarism, but now i'm pretty much attacking this group for making an ugly powerpoint. i don't know if it's just that i suck at working in groups or just suck with people in general. whether i'm right or wrong, i'm going to run it by my partners first. i need to work on being considerate. but it does sound like i'm trying... right?
<-- beaming cellphone cozy, $6. made especially for the diyscene may theme ! available now on my etsy shop ! "are you a female young messiah for stowaways in dugouts? and are you what church folk mean by the good news pulling plastic bags off heads? or are you giving me a dirty look in the rear view clicking the button on your u-ha pen? don't pretend you don't see me coming around the bend on my fixi with the chopped corns turned in trailing behind your biodiesel bends. stalker's my whole style and if i get caught i'll deny, deny, deny." more of simeon's dilemma by why? (: hehe. i love it, love it. but i also have a new love of seabear ! since this totally cute finnish guy recommended them to me on lastfm. i don't like them just cos that cute guy recommended them to me, but also cos they are so amazingly good ! they are... a lot of the things i love about music. the melodies, cute lyrics. just all around fun, fun, fun. the reason why i love putting on my headphones in the morning and love wearing them all day, even when i'm not supposed to. i'd hate it if i was deaf; i just love music so much.
i'm having one of those shitty-ass days where i'm all, blah blah, whatever. i think i just need a huge-ass does of eternal sunshine to remind me that life is sunshine. i haven't been doing any goals. i have such seasonal depression. -___- i have to find some way to fight it off, and i guess that starts out with figuring out what makes me happy. i'm tired of being all depressed, ugh. things have just been pissing me off and stressing me out. today the media art honor society adviser teacher was stressing me out. i need a better outlet. today i went on a long walk to the post office. it was a walk/run and it made me realize how much of a weakling asshole i am. ever since i returned that richard simmons video i've been so out of it. i just bought it on ebay a few seconds ago. i need to go out running so much more often. i need to work out so much more. over the summer i want to get the fittest i've ever been, and with the help of all the techniques i learned from paul mckenna about eating right, exercising is the next step. i've also learned a lot in gym class this year, even though that might sound so weird. maybe if i look better i'll be happier.
i'm having one of those shitty-ass days where i'm all, blah blah, whatever. i think i just need a huge-ass does of eternal sunshine to remind me that life is sunshine. i haven't been doing any goals. i have such seasonal depression. -___- i have to find some way to fight it off, and i guess that starts out with figuring out what makes me happy. i'm tired of being all depressed, ugh. things have just been pissing me off and stressing me out. today the media art honor society adviser teacher was stressing me out. i need a better outlet. today i went on a long walk to the post office. it was a walk/run and it made me realize how much of a weakling asshole i am. ever since i returned that richard simmons video i've been so out of it. i just bought it on ebay a few seconds ago. i need to go out running so much more often. i need to work out so much more. over the summer i want to get the fittest i've ever been, and with the help of all the techniques i learned from paul mckenna about eating right, exercising is the next step. i've also learned a lot in gym class this year, even though that might sound so weird. maybe if i look better i'll be happier.
"stalker's my whole style and if i get caught i'll deny, deny, deny..." an excerpt from a completely genius song by the band Why? that i love. those guys are just so totally awesome, how can you not love them? i love their name too. a while back, a few years ago, i remember talking to my sister and cousin about a band having a name like that. i think we came up with the name 'i don't know' though. the point of it was so then whenever someone would ask what your favorite band is, the conversation would go in circles like 'what's your favorite band?' 'i don't know' 'what do you mean you don't know?' 'i don't know !' but in our idea, all the song and album names would do the same thing. but i do love Why?'s name. it has the similar effect and when i first started getting into Why? that was what really drew me to them. a good band name always make the band extra fun. like harry and the potters or natalie portman's shaved head.
but lately i've critiquing myself a lot. i don't know where my hate ends and mind begins. everywhere i look, it seems there is someone hating me. i walk around high school and i see old friends who are friends no more, old foes who are just ignored and people who are just people i'll never know, and probably shouldn't know anyway. i find that i'm much too careless when it comes to other people. i feel like i go through people like pages in a book. i don't know what it is about me. i tire of people much too easily, and although it's all to avoid myself getting hurt, i don't know if it's the greatest trait to have. a lot of people think i hate them when i don't. i truth, there are some situations where i just don't know how to act at all, i need to fix it.
but lately i've critiquing myself a lot. i don't know where my hate ends and mind begins. everywhere i look, it seems there is someone hating me. i walk around high school and i see old friends who are friends no more, old foes who are just ignored and people who are just people i'll never know, and probably shouldn't know anyway. i find that i'm much too careless when it comes to other people. i feel like i go through people like pages in a book. i don't know what it is about me. i tire of people much too easily, and although it's all to avoid myself getting hurt, i don't know if it's the greatest trait to have. a lot of people think i hate them when i don't. i truth, there are some situations where i just don't know how to act at all, i need to fix it.
<-- sage echarpe, $9. available now at my etsy shop ! it's one of those moments where i'm losing my head. it's amazing what an hour of music can do for my mind. i've had this window open for at least twenty minutes, about to write a depressing blog about how empty i felt in this empty house of mine, but now that i've listened to jon brion's 'peer pressure' and i'm listening to rufus wainwright singing in french 'complainte de la butte,' it makes me smile. i was feeling like i wasted my week a little, i suppose. i didn't see any of my friends, i just spent the week watching films, knitting and going out places with my brother and sister. i guess this year i've changed a lot, just cos it's my sister's last year and i've decided to put all the bullshit behind us. i think i actually enjoyed this week a lot more than i thought i did. i made a lot of cute things, even though i didn't make any etsy money. i think i need to get back to where i was, in that sense though. think less about whether or not i made a kickass sale and more about having fun with everything, like i used to. money turns people into buckets of ugly. i know it firsthand from my mom, because she is that ugly. her whole life is about money and getting ahead; how do you enjoy life when all you care about are green pieces of paper that someone could've wiped their ass with before it got to you? people just don't seem to care about hygiene anymore. it stinks.. literally.
today i'm home alone, so far. i think i'm going to go out for a walk to the craft store. i've noticed my upper body strengthening, but my legs are starting to weaken. i think i'm going to try to go out jogging at least three times a week in may. but do you know what i love about this week? the fact that i went to the library like, three times. it has become one of my favorite places. have you ever actually thought about how amazing libraries are? i've always loved the library, but i mean, have you ever really thought about it? all these people from all different backgrounds, all over the world, throughout time, all coming together in one place. it's magical if you think about it. it's the views of so many people, in one place, harmoniously. all these thoughts of what life is, was and could be. i just love it so much. it brings you places you haven't been and shows you things you haven't, and probably may never see. jane austen, kurt vonnegut, truman capote... all with their own voices, all with their own tones. it's so lovely, if you think about it. someone disagrees in one book, someone agrees in the next. these arguments between spirits that could collide if the authors were living, but don't because it's in the spirit of the literature. life and death combine there, everything ends and begins there. in words, literature, voices, film, music. books are good friends, and some could be your best friends.
today i'm home alone, so far. i think i'm going to go out for a walk to the craft store. i've noticed my upper body strengthening, but my legs are starting to weaken. i think i'm going to try to go out jogging at least three times a week in may. but do you know what i love about this week? the fact that i went to the library like, three times. it has become one of my favorite places. have you ever actually thought about how amazing libraries are? i've always loved the library, but i mean, have you ever really thought about it? all these people from all different backgrounds, all over the world, throughout time, all coming together in one place. it's magical if you think about it. it's the views of so many people, in one place, harmoniously. all these thoughts of what life is, was and could be. i just love it so much. it brings you places you haven't been and shows you things you haven't, and probably may never see. jane austen, kurt vonnegut, truman capote... all with their own voices, all with their own tones. it's so lovely, if you think about it. someone disagrees in one book, someone agrees in the next. these arguments between spirits that could collide if the authors were living, but don't because it's in the spirit of the literature. life and death combine there, everything ends and begins there. in words, literature, voices, film, music. books are good friends, and some could be your best friends.
i had such a sudden burst of ideology today. i want to make little plushies, finger puppets or just cases out of felt, but with different characters from films ! i definitely want to do the life aquatic, the darjeeling limited, casablanca, breakfast at tiffany's, little miss sunshine, once, pulp fiction, citizen kane, edward scissorhands, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, i heart huckabees, pan's labyrinth, lost in translation, the list goes on ! it'll be so much fun, i can tell this is something i can have fun with and mix my love of film into as well ! i also want to do tv show characters like LOST or ugly betty ! and i want to do my idols or train wreck celebrities i have fun mocking ! i'm really excited now. this sounds like fun.
my main inspiration was elloh's etsy shop. she has fun with her favorite cultural icons and such. she paints them as she sees them i suppose, and they come out very adorable and very accurate in most. i love her eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, once and various breakfast at tiffany's paintings. she also has a cute life aquatic one that i enjoy. i just had a cute idea ! i think my summer store will be called POP culture. i have a good idea for a logo already. oh man ! i'm so looking forward to this. i thought i'd have such a problem transitioning out of THE LIFE AQUATIC but now it seems otherwise. contrary to belief, i will be continuing the life aquatic somewhat. i know i will have tons of aquatic type materials left and i do love doing what i'm doing, so yes, i will continue it and keep the life aquatic section until it thus chooses to be discontinued, but that will just depend on my subconscious and how i feel at that point. holy shit am i pumped !
i love when my mind just starts popping out ideas. it makes me feel so just, free and willing to experiment. i love when i have bursts of creativity. (:
my main inspiration was elloh's etsy shop. she has fun with her favorite cultural icons and such. she paints them as she sees them i suppose, and they come out very adorable and very accurate in most. i love her eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, once and various breakfast at tiffany's paintings. she also has a cute life aquatic one that i enjoy. i just had a cute idea ! i think my summer store will be called POP culture. i have a good idea for a logo already. oh man ! i'm so looking forward to this. i thought i'd have such a problem transitioning out of THE LIFE AQUATIC but now it seems otherwise. contrary to belief, i will be continuing the life aquatic somewhat. i know i will have tons of aquatic type materials left and i do love doing what i'm doing, so yes, i will continue it and keep the life aquatic section until it thus chooses to be discontinued, but that will just depend on my subconscious and how i feel at that point. holy shit am i pumped !
i love when my mind just starts popping out ideas. it makes me feel so just, free and willing to experiment. i love when i have bursts of creativity. (:
<--bubblegum cell phone/iPod cozy, $5. now available in my etsy shop ! today was a fairly slow day. i finally watched Once. it was as i expected, and more. i really liked it a lot. i'd recommend it to almost anyone, as long as you're okay with good music and a little romanticism, but not too much. it was a sweet love story; not the soft-core porn type most people are used to in movies today. as of right now, i'm not entirely sure what type of films i will make, but i want films with meaning and amazing cinematography, rather than movies bordering on pornography. the problem is there is hardly a border anymore of what film can and can't show. i like it that way, but it makes some films so hard to get. sometimes i can't take a film completely seriously just cos it has a leetle too much love in it. i'm not a weenie or a prude or anything, i just like movies with meaning.
so today was strange. i woke up this morning and just noticed, being vegan for a month is making me VEGAN ! hahah. it sounds strange, but let me attempt to explain. i woke up this morning and i didn't think at all about what to eat or checking labels. everything just kind of happened, hence, i'm used to being vegan. it's nailed into my brain a tad now. i know come tuesday i'll be back to normal, but i think i'll definitely be returning to veganism next year, or maybe even again this year. my love of silk soy milk continues to grow with every bowl of cereal. the only bad thing is, i've been eating way too much peanut butter ! hehe. i've gotten to the point where i've just been eating teaspoons of peanut butter. i love it so, but alas, it's a love that must end soon ! today, overall, was okay. i'm probably going to go get a nice cup of apple juice or two and then go watch winter passing or blade runner. (:
so today was strange. i woke up this morning and just noticed, being vegan for a month is making me VEGAN ! hahah. it sounds strange, but let me attempt to explain. i woke up this morning and i didn't think at all about what to eat or checking labels. everything just kind of happened, hence, i'm used to being vegan. it's nailed into my brain a tad now. i know come tuesday i'll be back to normal, but i think i'll definitely be returning to veganism next year, or maybe even again this year. my love of silk soy milk continues to grow with every bowl of cereal. the only bad thing is, i've been eating way too much peanut butter ! hehe. i've gotten to the point where i've just been eating teaspoons of peanut butter. i love it so, but alas, it's a love that must end soon ! today, overall, was okay. i'm probably going to go get a nice cup of apple juice or two and then go watch winter passing or blade runner. (:
