3 posts tagged “excitement”

i'm sort of beginning to accept the fact that i am, for the most part, in love. it's hard for me to completely let it sink in, but up to now i think it has. i've just never had this kind of chemistry with someone before... mixed with weird coincidences all over the place. it's just like, everytime we're together it's something new. we can talk for hours, and pretty much did last night. we're so similar and compliment each other so well, and i'm almost completely positive that he feels the same. i remember being slightly into him after we first really spoke, but it just gets more and more every time we're together. we have the most random, interesting, epic, incredible conversations. he gets me. it's just never been this much before. i've liked guys, i've thought i loved guys, but this is so much different. it's like we're meant to be together this time, and everything about us just matches. i'm just so excited, scared and overall happy. it's just the feeling that someone really understands who you are. it's prettty much all i ever wanted. he's all i ever wanted. someone i can talk to and respect who is also insanely lovable and sweet. our aspirations, interests and everything match. he wants to study abroad and go into the peace corps, like me. if that didn't win my respect, nothing would. it's just, i remember talking to my sister about the peace corps once. i was telling her maybe i'll find some guy in college who will go into the peace corps with me. she just laughed at me like, nah. i wasn't expecting that to happen, especially not this soon. i don't want to get too worked up about it, but i'm just so thrilled at how everything is playing out. we spent so much time together yesterday. at times when i'm with him, i feel like i don't care about anyone else in the world. the scary part is, sometimes i feel like he's all i need. i know that isn't at all justified, because there are so many people that i love and couldn't live without, but he is probably amongst the most amazing people i've ever met. he's so sincere and he makes me so happy. i just feel like there is no use looking around anymore while everything is right in front of me, completely obvious. we have all these random things in common that i can't talk to anyone else about. he's one of the only people i can talk about movies with. i'm just not used to having so much in common with anyone. i could go on about this whole thing forever. i'm just so excited to see where it takes me... or us. it's just something i've never felt before, and i'm so thrilled to be feeling. i just don't know how exactly we grew to be so much alike in such different environments. it all fascinates me to death. i really just want to hear every little thing he has to say. i love talking to him. all of it is just so much more than i ever thought i'd have, or deserved. i feel like i'm being rewarded in some way, for something. he's just... everything.

i went for a long walk today. i walked to the post office to send a package, walked to shop rite to finally get that reusable water bottle i've been wanting and then walked to mcdonald's to buy some lunch for my brother and sister. while i was walking i was listening to music and thinking, as always. earlier this week i came across a few etsy shops with zines in them, then i was thinking, what do these zines encompass? people buy them, but what's inside? i decided to look at people's etsy shops who sold zines, and i basically found that most of them were people who sold pins and zines. this discouraged me cos it made me think, maybe i shouldn't, but then today while i was walking i was thinking how much fun it could be. i cut out things out of magazines constantly. i have a box full of pictures i've cut out in the past. i've always been sort of artistically inclined, and since i write here almost everyday, having a monthly zine would be fun ! i was thinking of names. one i came up with was 'pantomime' cos i was trying to think of my favorite words. it made sense, but i don't think it would catch people's attention as easily, so i decided to consult my good friend, the thesaurus ! i came across the word 'palaver' which means a long parley or discussion, usually between people of different cultures or levels of sophistication. this word, palaver, made sense to me. whoever bought and read my zine would have a completely separate and different life than mine. it would be a link between cultures.

i started thinking about what i could put in it. among my thoughts came photos, my favorite blog entries of the month, playlists, recipes, and then i came up with and idea that has yet to be used in zines.. advertising. i'm planning on having two pages a zine, an interview with an etsy seller next to a collage of items that match one of mine, like an outfit or collection of items that would compliment my own. that would be my way of spicing up the world of zines, and something that would set my zine apart from the rest. i liked the idea, so now i'm pretty sure i'm doing it. (: but with my small amount of doubts, there are doubts, so i started a thread on the diyscene forum about zines. hopefully soon i'll get results, but for now, i'm going to start working on one. it'll be my june one, but i'm pretty excited !

so i've been pretty into my peruvian culture as of late, basically at the fault of multicultural day last week. i've been pretty much happy with who i am as a half hispanic person and i like my heritage, but my sister doesn't.

she constantly puts peru down, and i can understand why, we've had bad experiences with some of our relatives down there and my mom's family isn't exactly clean cut. but now that i've seen and researched the beautiful and scenic part of peru i love it. not the metropolis, but the real peru under all that crap. my sister is probably going to hold this eternal grudge, with good reason, but it gets to me sometimes how she puts down hispanic people all the time. especially now that i love my heritage. i don't know if i find her behavior disappointing or just expected. she used to be the really hispanic one, i guess we kind of flipped. peru is all different colors and tints, it has no limits as to its color. its not a monochromatic tone like iceland, it's more. i'm not sure i like the fact that it's not monochromatic. it's so busy, but i just think, better that than the united states who lacks open spaces.

so my paper mache didn't really work out yesterday. so what? i guess. sue me ! haha. too messy. too much of a hassle for something that might not sell. too much hassle for a risk, even though i promised myself i'd take more of them. lately i've been really into old 90s films. reality bites, singles, and yesterday i saw empire records and really liked it. i find myself torn between dressing to my icelandic ambient music phase, or to my neo-grunge phase. this is my second grunge phase, and it came out of nowhere. i guess i could mix the two somehow.

so yesterday i knit one fingerless glove. i'm wearing it right now and really like it. i think i'm going to make more and sell them with matching scarves. that'll be cute. i have so much i want and need to get. i'm just waiting for my check from paypal, hehe. and it's also such a relief that i'm babysitting on friday. more money. i'm currently saving up for a button maker. i think i could have fun with it. make tons of cool buttons. sell them on etsy and/or give them to people. empire records basically inspire me to do it. but anyway, i need to head out cos my sister and brother sound bored. i need to bring the excitement back i guess. that's me, excitement, kind of. more when i don't have my period, hahah.