pitter patter
teenage venting time. i'm sorry. i don't mean to but i just really need to type it out. it makes me feel better and makes me realize more, plus i need to get into the mood for writing. i have all this stuff to do for english.
i've been falling fast and hard for this guy. it's sort of irrational i suppose, but in my head, completely unavoidable. mostly this past week, because we saw each other so frequently. i don't know if i'm wrong or right to do what i'm doing, but i'm starting to get scared of how fast i'm growing to like him, or even love him. it's one of those instances that are rare but do happen, when you have so much in common with someone that you can only think about just talking with them forever. i've had these happen only two or three times in my life, this being one, and i just fall so fast for guys that like what i like, but not exactly though. he likes a lot of the same movies, directors, books and things i like. he says he's sort of anti-social, but i don't really believe that since he talks so openly, with such charisma. we've only known each other for a short time, three weeks, and i can talk so openly with him. he always seems to get what i'm saying and he knows about things i know, but more. sometimes it gets intimidating, but i feel like there is so much i could learn from him. i feel like there's so much i want to learn from him. last week we had three long conversations. i found out, mostly, he's an insomniac, he likes chuck palahniuk, he dvrs everything, he misses toby from the office (who ironically came back this week, by the way !), he likes wes anderson and quentin tarantino, he likes war movies, etc. listing them out would just be too hard, but when i think about how much we have in common, i just like him more. i feel like everytime we talk it's something new. i value his opinion and i enjoy his company. i'm definitely falling for him hard, but the fast pace of it all i starting to scare me, and also the fact that i'm not completely sure he feels the same way. i suppose i've acted mixed to him, but he's also acted sort of mixed to me. i just don't want to lay it all out on the table and get shot down. my confidence is so much better this year than it's ever been, and i'm not sure if i want to risk things while i've had such stability. just things he has done or said have hinted at it, and also things my friends have said. one of my friends said it seems like he likes me too, but 'seems' isn't definite enough for me to completely put it all on the line. i told him that i wanted to read the second twilight book, even though i'm in the middle of three other books, and he brought in the next three for me. he was laughing at me having to carry them, but i just thought it was cute how he brought them all. he's not gay though, haha, i know that much. but he did come and take one off of me, just so i didn't look like a total doof. then on friday when we were talking, he was just looking at his hand and i was wondering why. later he said something about how he wrote things down that he wanted to talk about, haha. i thought that was cute too. i don't know if it's normal to think like that, or if this is just me getting all over-exaggerated. i over analyze and over think everything. i'm getting scared that i'm just a dumbass. i guess i am. i need to slow everything down.
i've been falling fast and hard for this guy. it's sort of irrational i suppose, but in my head, completely unavoidable. mostly this past week, because we saw each other so frequently. i don't know if i'm wrong or right to do what i'm doing, but i'm starting to get scared of how fast i'm growing to like him, or even love him. it's one of those instances that are rare but do happen, when you have so much in common with someone that you can only think about just talking with them forever. i've had these happen only two or three times in my life, this being one, and i just fall so fast for guys that like what i like, but not exactly though. he likes a lot of the same movies, directors, books and things i like. he says he's sort of anti-social, but i don't really believe that since he talks so openly, with such charisma. we've only known each other for a short time, three weeks, and i can talk so openly with him. he always seems to get what i'm saying and he knows about things i know, but more. sometimes it gets intimidating, but i feel like there is so much i could learn from him. i feel like there's so much i want to learn from him. last week we had three long conversations. i found out, mostly, he's an insomniac, he likes chuck palahniuk, he dvrs everything, he misses toby from the office (who ironically came back this week, by the way !), he likes wes anderson and quentin tarantino, he likes war movies, etc. listing them out would just be too hard, but when i think about how much we have in common, i just like him more. i feel like everytime we talk it's something new. i value his opinion and i enjoy his company. i'm definitely falling for him hard, but the fast pace of it all i starting to scare me, and also the fact that i'm not completely sure he feels the same way. i suppose i've acted mixed to him, but he's also acted sort of mixed to me. i just don't want to lay it all out on the table and get shot down. my confidence is so much better this year than it's ever been, and i'm not sure if i want to risk things while i've had such stability. just things he has done or said have hinted at it, and also things my friends have said. one of my friends said it seems like he likes me too, but 'seems' isn't definite enough for me to completely put it all on the line. i told him that i wanted to read the second twilight book, even though i'm in the middle of three other books, and he brought in the next three for me. he was laughing at me having to carry them, but i just thought it was cute how he brought them all. he's not gay though, haha, i know that much. but he did come and take one off of me, just so i didn't look like a total doof. then on friday when we were talking, he was just looking at his hand and i was wondering why. later he said something about how he wrote things down that he wanted to talk about, haha. i thought that was cute too. i don't know if it's normal to think like that, or if this is just me getting all over-exaggerated. i over analyze and over think everything. i'm getting scared that i'm just a dumbass. i guess i am. i need to slow everything down.
