birthday
yeah, it's my birthday. i'm sixteen, and that's besides the point. this isn't going to be a cool blog by any means. it's going to be a straight up teenager's blog because that's what i need right now. i just really hope no one really pays much attention to this. i'm just going to be pouring my feelings out here right now, so don't pay attention.
lately i've been sort of angry with myself a bit. i've never really liked anyone who's taken before and now i sort of do. it's not intentional, but love never really is. so i've been sort of beating myself up over it a bit. i really like this guy but him being taken, i just don't break people up. i've never been like that. if he's happy where he is, i'm happy, and i've decided it to be that way, so i backed off.
then, this week, i meet a guy who i've seen a billion times, but i get a different impression. i had never really spoken to him, but once i did we just had so much in common. the chemistry was so instant it's sort of surprising and a little scary but i knew instantly i'd probably fall in love with him. it seemed so perfect because he's not in a relationship and he isn't bad looking, and to top it off, we can talk about things that no one else gets about me. he just seemed like my soul mate in one conversation. he's so interesting.
i pretty much decided that my problems are over and i'd just try to focus on school and the one guy who isn't taken, and possibly allow myself to fall for him (not that i can control it), until today when the taken guy tells me that he's been bored and that his significant other has been hurting him, intentionally or unintentionally. when i saw this, i was thinking they'd break up and then i could love him. as much as i like the other guy, i just don't know what to do. maybe it's nothing, but when i feel chemistry with two guys equally like this, it's so confusing. like if the single one asked me out and then the taken one became single would i dump the other one? if the taken one dumps his girlfriend and asks me out and then the single one asked me out would i dump the other one? i guess the chances of the taken one dumping his girlfriend aren't so much, but i'm still torn. i guess i sort of need to look more into things. i'll probably be seeing both of them this week, but i just want them both to be happy, but at the same time, i want to be happy too. i guess i need to get to know both better and see where their feelings lie. ugh, as much as i'm getting excited to possibly fall in love this year, the 'with who' is the main question, and although i've been really picky with my choices concerning boyfriends, either seem like they'd be perfect for me. i don't know if i'm worrying over nothing.
lately i've been sort of angry with myself a bit. i've never really liked anyone who's taken before and now i sort of do. it's not intentional, but love never really is. so i've been sort of beating myself up over it a bit. i really like this guy but him being taken, i just don't break people up. i've never been like that. if he's happy where he is, i'm happy, and i've decided it to be that way, so i backed off.
then, this week, i meet a guy who i've seen a billion times, but i get a different impression. i had never really spoken to him, but once i did we just had so much in common. the chemistry was so instant it's sort of surprising and a little scary but i knew instantly i'd probably fall in love with him. it seemed so perfect because he's not in a relationship and he isn't bad looking, and to top it off, we can talk about things that no one else gets about me. he just seemed like my soul mate in one conversation. he's so interesting.
i pretty much decided that my problems are over and i'd just try to focus on school and the one guy who isn't taken, and possibly allow myself to fall for him (not that i can control it), until today when the taken guy tells me that he's been bored and that his significant other has been hurting him, intentionally or unintentionally. when i saw this, i was thinking they'd break up and then i could love him. as much as i like the other guy, i just don't know what to do. maybe it's nothing, but when i feel chemistry with two guys equally like this, it's so confusing. like if the single one asked me out and then the taken one became single would i dump the other one? if the taken one dumps his girlfriend and asks me out and then the single one asked me out would i dump the other one? i guess the chances of the taken one dumping his girlfriend aren't so much, but i'm still torn. i guess i sort of need to look more into things. i'll probably be seeing both of them this week, but i just want them both to be happy, but at the same time, i want to be happy too. i guess i need to get to know both better and see where their feelings lie. ugh, as much as i'm getting excited to possibly fall in love this year, the 'with who' is the main question, and although i've been really picky with my choices concerning boyfriends, either seem like they'd be perfect for me. i don't know if i'm worrying over nothing.
